Greetings!

Today is my birthday, but I have written this text in advance (on February 26th, to be precise). Truth to be told, I wasn’t always sure I’d get thus far; my twenties weren’t “roaring” per se, but they had their share of hardships and grief. Though I did plenty of things in that timeline, I regret many of the choices I’ve made from 18 to 29, which hindered my progress through life as whole.

I’m talking about poor friendship, love and professional choices. Now, I do not regret the degrees which I have and hold (I’m a certified Graphic Designer Bachelor, a Classical Piano Musician and a Gastronomy technologist), but I certainly could have made it better in more occasions than I wanted to admit. I was placed on a role of shyness which didn’t fit me and suffered from being frenquently dismissed or passed over, and I still struggle to get rid of this fake shy persona I created for myself.

I also came to realize that I didn’t belong on most of the social circles I’ve been attending to for a decade, and it took me two new careers to figure this out. Ouch. While I’ve been living a loner life nowadays, I can confidently say I’ve found social circles and friendships of my own for the first time in ages, and I feel, at least for the time being, that those friendships are indeed mine and not the result of being part of someone else’s life.

Which brings me to the affairs of the heart; if I could turn back in time, I probably would have tried to prevent my past self to choose the people that I chose. I haven’t had many boyfriends or girlfriends, not even as many one-night stands or whatever, but I realize now that I wasn’t supposed to be with those people. It wasn’t meant to be, and trying to remember or even reminisce those relationships is moot, for I no longer recall how they were. It feels as if it was a lifetime ago, and I’m fine with it.

It’s not all doom and gloom, however; while I’ve lost time, I also gained it. I decided to focus more on myself instead of pleasing people for the sake of being approved or accepted, even. I now have enough wisdom to realize what’s real and what’s not, to embrace opportunities when they come and tell apart which is the best path forward for me.

I won’t miss my 20’s – after all, what’s done is done, and I look forward for a new decade. I went back to Bellydance after 5 years away from it and went straight for competitions (which was ALWAYS my thing and I found a mentor who is one thousand percent aligned with me in this), I finally started Samba classes (I’m a Brazilian girl who knows how to Samba, I feel amazing) and I’m making my best efforts to get a steady job.

Regarding people and places, I at least know what I don’t want for my life, which brings me relief and solace. I believe that people are and should be free to come and go, so I won’t be barging into someone’s life nor beg for emotional scraps anymore and I’ll be careful not to overstay my welcome, the same way I will no longer allow anyone to stay on my life longer than they should. Those days are far and gone, to be sure. My spirituality is also taken care of – and it has never been better!

I look to my 30th anniversary with hope and accountability. Like so many girls of my generation, I grew up with many iconic movies, such as 13 Going on 30, and it’s my sincere hope to be 30 and flirty and thriving, with wishing dust sprinkling over me.

I want to thank all of you for taking your time to either congratulate me or to read this humble article of mine (maybe both things? A girl can dream, I don’t know). I’m glad to still be here. I’m glad to be alive. Let my thirties come – I’ve been waiting for them with baited breath!

Kind Regards,
IridiumArt.